Did You know that today is Birth-mothers day? Often in the adoption world this is a day of celebration towards the Birth-mothers (often teenage girls) who made the ultimate sacrifice to give their children a better home and life. These women are celebrated for their maturity and selflessness! For choosing to give their baby a stable home! I cheer for them, my heart is overwhelmed with LOVE for them! I can not imagine how hard it must be for them to make that choice...but I am SO GLAD that they are strong enough to do it!!
In open adoptions this holiday is treated similarly to Mothers day- there are Birth-mother cards and pictures are often sent to show the birth mom that she is very much appreciated and loved! I love that idea of celebrating your birth-mother, but I had not decided what we should do....
For several months now I have been thinking about our own Birth-mother! We are a slightly different situation. She did not plan to give her children a better life- they where taken from her! She was not selfless- but rather selfish. Some would think that I should despise her for how terribly she treated my children, that I should bad mouth her and tell them all sorts of horrible things about her....but that is NOT how I feel!
I feel nothing towards her but eternal gratitude. This woman has done something for me that I have NOT been able to do for myself- give birth. The more I learned about fertility and the more doctors I went to visit, the more I realized that the ability of giving birth is a divine ability! I have not been given that ability and I am SO GRATEFUL that she could do this for our family- to bring these two WONDERFUL SWEET SPIRITS into this world. Without her I would not have my amazing children. I feel unconditional love and appreciation for her!
When we found out that her parental rights were severed- I was OVERJOYED for us, but part of my heart ached for her. No matter what mistakes she has made, there must be a part of her that weeps for loosing her children.
I will probably never meet her in this life- but I think about her often. I tell my children that their birth-mom loved them VERY much and that even though she wanted to she just COULDN'T take care of them, so Heavenly Father sent them to our house so that they could have an Eternal Family. I hope that one day when we are on the other side of the Vail that we will be able to meet her- embrace her and share with her our love and appreciation for her contribution to our family!
So today I want to start a new tradition for myself and our family- I want to pray for our birth-mother! Pray that she finds Peace. Pray that she knows she is loved. Pray that she can have strength to overcome her personal struggles and Pray that one day she will be able to see that she is a divine daughter of our Heavenly Father who loves her very much!
Happy Birth-mothers day!
1 comment:
That was an awesome post, Layne. I hope you had a wonderful first Mother's Day!
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