When I first got married one of the things I was most excited about was the opportunity to be a mother. As that opportunity didn't come I became very depressed. I was devastated month after month as my hopes were shattered. We prayed and pleaded to Heavenly Father to grant us our righteous desire. We sought fertility treatments and had tests done. We did EVERY "old wives tale" in the book! As the years passed on and we suffered a few miscarriages my sorrow deepened...I felt completely lost. I grew resentful of my job because I didn't want to be successful as a grocery manager. We applied for an adoption and waited helplessly. I felt Empty inside, as though I had no purpose on this Earth. I did everything I could do and I was angry with God for withholding this blessing from me......
Then the most AMAZING thing happened. On December 9th 2010 we were able to meet with 2 young children who were in the foster care system. Andrew and Mallory needed a family to care care of them and to love them...and we had been searching for them. From the moment we met them every seemed to CLICK! The first time me met Andrew ran right up to me and gave me a big HUG, my heart melted, and all my fears flew away! After a few visits I knew that they were intended to be in our family. The four of us fit together perfectly!
This time last year I was full of doubt and uncertainty, I didn't know if I would ever be able to be happy! Now everything is so much better, Not perfect, but manageable! No matter what struggles or stress I am having it's much easier to deal with because I have two darling children singing their ABC's in the back seat. They have both grown so much and I am so grateful that I am able to be a part of that, to watch them grown and to see them progress! They are incredible kids! I got really lucky! I am grateful that Heavenly Father sent them to our home- AT THIS TIME...I know I begged him to send my children to me 5 years ago, but (as always) He knew better then me and knew what I needed and what they needed- I know that they were intended to be part of our family now!
I LOVE being a MOM!!! I love finding fun/cheap things to do with my kids, going to museums, Zoos, parks, movies. I love spending time as a family. I love shopping with/for them. I LOVE how fun Holidays are now, painting pumpkins, decorating cookies, hanging lights, singing songs. I Love teaching them about the gospel, learning primary songs, and reading church books. I really love just being able to stay home with them all day, making them lunch and just doing stuff together!! I am Lucky to have such a loving supportive Husband who works his Butt off so that I can stay home with our children!
I am SO grateful to be a Mother!
No comments:
Post a Comment